http://energyrichbusinessblog.com Are You Ready To Partner Universal Energetic Principles With Practical Step-By-Step “How-To’s” To Joyfully Make More Money In Your Business So You Can Better Serve the World? Fri, 08 Jan 2010 19:04:37 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 [1]Image by ceoln [2] via Flickr “Look at him,” the fond mother says on the playground, as her toddler shows other toddlers how to jump on a line of ants.  “He’s a born leader.” “If you want the scholarship,” the academic adviser tells the high school kid, “you’re going to have to show more leadership ability.  Look at Shane over there.  He’s a born leader.  Try to be more like him.”  (Yikes!  Don’t try to be like anyone but you!!!”) “That kid will be the CEO one of these days,” the department head says over the water cooler.  “You watch.  One of these days we’ll be answering to him.  He’s a born leader.” Are you a born leader?  No? Guess you should give it up then, huh?  I mean, sure, you have this incredible gift from the universe, and you’ve found the courage to honor it by stepping out into a joyful adventure of intuitive discovery and service, but the universe left out one key ingredient: You aren’t a born leader. Darn it.  And you were so close to achieving your dreams. *sigh* Somehow, we have this pervasive myth in our culture that leadership abilities cannot be learned. Sure, we can learn to cut hair, to meditate, to understand the Offsides Rule in Soccer, to solve Sudoku puzzles and to hold the flying crow yoga position for five minutes . . . pretty well.  We’re actually amazingly diverse learning machines with endless capacity for taking in knowledge and decoding the world around us. Too bad leadership skills are out of our reach. Not. Has anyone ever called you a born leader?  No?  Well, good news, my friend.  You aren’t actually doomed to a lifetime of mediocrity and imitation after all! In this series of blogs, we’ve been talking about how leadership skills apply to your field as a healer, life coach [3] or heart-based entrepreneur, and what exactly those skills consist of.  I said in a previous blog that you can’t define people by the black and white labels – “that one is a leader,” and “that one is not a leader.”  All of us are, or should be, learning more every day about how we can use our stories, our strengths and our gifts to lead others to our mutual success.   But maybe you’re still doubting your abilities.  Last week I told you that a leader has three tasks:  to facilitate, guide and influence.  Let me break it down for you. Facilitate.  In other words, figure out what needs to happen, and work to make it possible.  Consider your client’s or staff member’s resources or strengths, and make a plan. Guidance.  Once you know what needs to be done, you need to hone your ability to convey that to your client or staff member in a clear, positive, high-energy way. Influence.  Are you following your dream, tapping into your inspiration and gifts to unearth your future?  If so, all you need to do to influence – inspire! – your life coach [4] client or staff member is to share that positive high-energy with stories, face-to-face conversation, and a willingness to expose your passion to the light. Are you a born leader?  Maybe your answer is still no.  But take a look at those three tasks.  Doable, right?   Chances are, you’re already doing all three things in lots of different contexts in your life.  Chances are, you’re stronger in one area, weaker in the other . . . it doesn’t matter.  With practice (which you get by making intentional choices), you’ll get stronger in all three!  As John Quincy Adams said, “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.” And it’s as simple as that! If you’re a  life coach [5], heart-based entrepreneur, or healer, you are already a leader.  All you need to do is continually hone your skills.  Learn how now in my EnergyRICH® Bootcamp [6]! [7] [1] http://www.flickr.com/photos/36101698898@N01/19453 [2] http://www.flickr.com/photos/36101698898@N01/19453 [3] http://energyrichbusinessblog.com../../../../../?p=366 [4] http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0801534.html [5] http://energyrichbusinessblog.com../../../../../www.energyrichbootcamp.com [6] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [7] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/22d1aedf-634e-49e7-8b45-c3d42ee4322d/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=826 [1] Image via Wikipedia [2] Early in the morning on April 17, 1961, 1400 Cuban exiles landed at the Bay of Pigs, Cuba and attempted to overthrow Fidel Castro.  The U.S.-trained force was both too large (to be covert) and too small (too win an engagement).  After three days of unsuccessful fighting, the insurgents fled to the swamps, trying to connect with the waiting U.S. ships.  Nearly all were captured and imprisoned. In other words, it was a disaster.   The press and U.S. citizens alike were outraged.  A New York Times columnist commented that the invasion made the U.S. look like “fools to our friends, rascals to our enemies, and incompetents to the rest.” The outcry was completely silenced, though, when President John F. Kennedy publically took full responsibility for the fiasco. It took a lot of courage to stand there, face the entire world and say, “the buck stops here.”  Can you imagine how JFK must have felt, then, when his popularity rating went up instead of down? This isn’t a blog about politics, so no matter what your opinions are about JFK or his time in office, stay tuned.  What we’re talking about today is leadership. If you’ve been following this series of blogs, you know that leadership skills are absolutely essential for a life coach [3], heart-based entrepreneur, or healer.   The Bay of Pigs situation is a great of example of what to do when you lead . . .  and things go wrong. JFK took full responsibility for what happened.  It had to be so tempting to shift at least some of the blame away from himself.  The operation had actually been conceived during the Eisenhower administration, and a lot of hands and brains had gone into the final plan.  Kennedy himself had been in office for less than one hundred days.  But he took full responsibility, and most people loved him for it.  It was a relief – that confirmation that he was at the helm, really steering this giant, complex country.  Sure, he’d made a mistake, but he was right there to handle the fall out from it.  What can you learn from Kennedy’s approach? Make mistakes.  Do your research, make your best decision and go for it.  The worst thing you can do is refuse to take action because you’re afraid to make a mistake. If your decision appears to be a mistake, take the time to find out for sure.  Remember when we were talking about the Law of Attraction?  There’s almost always an initial success, and then a hesitation before any other good comes.  Get concrete evidence before you stamp “Failed Effort” across it. Assess your mistake – what have you learned?  Don’t allow negatively to leach your energy by labeling the decision (or yourself) as “stupid,” “foolhardy,” or “ignorant.”  A mistake is only ignorant if you refuse to learn from it . . . or if you allow it to redefine yourself as something less than. After the mistake, you are now a more valuable asset to your dream, and a more powerful leader.  Why?  Because you know more than you did before the mistake.  You are a more seasoned life coach [4], healer or heart-based entrepreneur for having gone through this fire.  So regroup, gather more information, and take your game up to the next level! You probably aren’t running a country (although if you are, and you’re reading my blog – thanks!  I’ll take it as a compliment) but if you put yourself in the position of leader, be prepared to handle mistakes.  As a matter of fact, you must make mistakes. Are you a life coach [5], healer or other heart-based entrepreneur who wants to become a more effective leader?  Find your way to a joyful, beautiful adventure packed with major success and fun with the EnergyRICH® Bootcamp [6]. [7] [1] http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:John_F._Kennedy%2C_White_House_photo_portrait%2C_looking_up.jpg [2] http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:John_F._Kennedy%2C_White_House_photo_portrait%2C_looking_up.jpg [3] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKlnM_n1s1E [4] http://energyrichbusinessblog.com../../../../../?p=578 [5] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [6] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [7] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/25c1358d-df67-475f-8029-39dd8713e908/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=820 [1] Image by leo.prie.to [2] via Flickr I knew a woman – we’ll call her Debbie – who believed she was nothing special.  “I’m normal,” she said.  “Just normal.  I guess that’s okay, but it’s hard to get excited about it.” “What do you mean by normal?” I asked her. “You know.  I was a B and C student in school.  Married an average guy.  Make an average income.  Two point five kids.  My dog is a Lab.  I’m just . . . normal.  I just always wished I was a brilliant musician, or had a high IQ, or was a raving beauty.  You know.  Just something.” I had to laugh as I glanced around her office, packed to capacity with files, memo notes, and record books. Three years ago, Debbie had run into Julie, one of her dearest friends from high school.  The friend had been a beacon of fashionable popularity in school, but now she – only in her mid-thirties – looked exhausted and beaten down by life.  Debbie was shocked. “I knew a lot of people in this region were having problems,” she told me.  “When the plant closed, it put a lot of people out of work.  I know so many people who lost their houses, or who are about to lose their houses.  A lot of times their marriages don’t survive the stress.”  Julie was one of these – she and her husband had both lost their jobs, and their marriage had cracked under the pressure.  Now Julie was working part time in a family restaurant, trying to keep a roof over the heads of her three kids while fielding collection calls. Debbie remembered that in school, Julie had been passionate about yoga, and had even given many of her friends charm bracelets “to remind them of their intentions on and off the mat.” “Why don’t you make some extra money selling your bracelets?” she suggested.  “You could sell them on the internet.” Julie was dubious.  She didn’t have any money to start a small business, and was too discouraged to try something new.  But Debbie wouldn’t give up.  Julie was too gifted to just fade into hopelessness.  Soon, Julie agreed to give it a try. And a new business was born. Actually, two new businesses were born.  Julie told a few friends about Debbie’s combination of ideas and cheerleading, and Debbie – almost accidentally – became a life coach [3]! “But you’re just normal,” I said, picking up a charm bracelet from her desk and dangling it in front of her.  The pewter charm said, “Believe!” “What do you mean?” “Girl, I think you’re overlooking your major talent.  You are an incredible leader.” Debbie instinctively knows the keys to success when it comes to leading as a life coach [4].  But if you’re struggling with your own ability to lead, don’t give up!   These are definitely skills that you can learn.  When you’re trying to move a client to follow your lead, keep these things in mind: Rather than try to coerce your client, engage her emotions.  Help her see the big picture – the truth about what you’re all about.  Let her feel your excitement! When you have a choice, always choose face to face contacts rather than email or telephone.  The more uncertain the outcome is, the more your client needs to see your face and feel your energy. Take a personal interested.  We talked about this in a previous blog.  Release your investment in the outcome – in what you have to lose – and look at the situation through your client’s filters. Be worthy of the trust that you’d have others place in you.  If you break promises, fail to follow through, are disrespectful or biased, people will see through you in a heartbeat and go their own way. Are you a leader?   I don’t like that question, so don’t answer it!  When you put it like that, it sounds like a leader is a distinct type of person, like a lawyer, or a tall person, or a blonde (well, that last one is actually subject to change, isn’t it?)   Let go of the idea that you either are or aren’t a leader, because learning to lead is a lifetime process.  And whether you’re just starting on the path to mastering the skills of leadership or much farther down the line, there’s always more to learn. Are you ready it hit your stride and move into 6-figure (and more) income levels?  It’s time to move your career as a life coach [5], healer or heart-based entrepreneur into high gear.  Sign on for one of the remaining slots in the EnergyRICH® Bootcamp [6]. [7] [1] http://www.flickr.com/photos/17594319@N00/2487291 [2] http://www.flickr.com/photos/17594319@N00/2487291 [3] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O00GIq7n4OQ [4] http://energyrichbusinessblog.com../../../../../?p=665 [5] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [6] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [7] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/21a76d62-53fb-429d-96ee-6abbe235bb6e/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=814 [1] Image by PittCaleb [2] via Flickr A healer client of mine – let’s call her Sue – told me about the fender bender she got into while Christmas shopping a couple of weeks ago. “I was stopped in the parking lot, waiting for traffic to clear, and I heard this loud thump.  I jumped out, and this lady was standing behind my van, checking it out.  “I already had a dent in the bumper.  She pointed to it, and was like, ‘I didn’t do that!  That was already there.” Sue agreed with her, and then started checking the rest of her van.   It was starting to get dark, so she said to the woman, “I don’t see anything . . . do you?” “No,” the woman said.  And then she got back in her SUV and left. Sue stood there in the gathering darkness for a minute, stunned.  “I should have yelled at her to wait,” she told me.  “Or called the police, or got her license number, or something.  But I was so busy being nice, thinking about how relieved the lady must have been that it wasn’t worse, that I didn’t think about defending my own interests.” That night when she got home, Sue took a flashlight and confirmed her growing fear.  There was a good sized dent and scuff mark on the hatch of her van.  The lady had been pointing to a completely different  part of the car.  Had she deliberately misled Sue on the location of the contact so she could avoid taking responsibility?  Sue miserably had to admit that it was possible.  At the very least, the woman had intentionally made a quick exit before the real damage could be discovered. “It’s not so much the van,” she said.  “Although I’m not very happy about that.  But the worst part is knowing that I let it happen.  I just stood there and got taken advantage of.” We’ve been talking about the qualities of leadership, and how essential they are to being effective in nearly every context.  Yesterday we talked about coming on too strong.  Today, we’re going to take a look at the opposite problem:  being so nice, so likable, that you render yourself completely ineffectual. [3] I think this is a more common problem with women in the heart-based businesses.  A life coach [4] can’t help her client if her compassion prevents her from telling the truth.  A healer can’t heal if she can’t bluntly address behaviors that are causing the problem.  I struggled with this myself – working so hard to avoid coming on strong that clients weren’t feeling the full power of what I had to offer. If you think you’re headed the same direction, here are some things to consider: You can and should be a nurturing leader, but not a door mat.  Protect your boundaries.  Nurture in professional context.  If you’re a life coach [5] working with a creator of healing gems, for instance, don’t be led into a discussion of her husband’s sexual inadequacy. Know the difference between being kind and being nice.  Be kind and compassionate, but don’t be so nice that you can’t be professionally effective.  If  you’re in negotiations and your sole focus is making sure that the other person is happy, you’ll be out of business. Take a good, long look in the mirror and ask yourself whether you need to be liked so desperately that you’re willing to turn your back on the thing you were born to do.\ Loving people want to be loved, and some of us have a tough time accepting that we are not always going to be liked.  In fact, the very fact that you are following you’re dreams will be enough to annoy some people, leading them to find fault with you.  Instead of depending on external signals – “She really doesn’t like me!  I must be doing this all wrong.” – look inward.  You know your goals and talents.  Are you on target?  Are you within your values?  Have you done anything that requires an apology?    These internal cues are a far better indicator of how you’re doing that messages from people who have their own agendas and filters. Do you know who you are and what you were born to do?  Whether you’re a healer, life coach [6] or heart-based entrepreneur, it’s time for you to join the adventure. Sign on for one of the remaining slots in the EnergyRICH® Bootcamp [7]. [8] [1] http://www.flickr.com/photos/7924897@N05/2144519935 [2] http://www.flickr.com/photos/7924897@N05/2144519935 [3] http://www.flickr.com/photos/73621375@N00/8831420 [4] http://energyrichbusinessblog.com../../../../../?p=337 [5] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XO9LSrG06Yw [6] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [7] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [8] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/ab8fb0a8-5a94-4247-9239-62d27b7c272b/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=807 [1] Image via Wikipedia [2] Ronald E. Riggio wrote in the article, “Cutting-Edge Leadership” in Psychology Today [3] : “I knew one self-serving leader who was very upfront about his Machiavellian nature, and tried to justify his behavior (and his bad leadership). "Look, a lot of the people who work for me aren't going anywhere," he said. "I'm the department head, so it just makes sense that the credit will go to me." As a life coach, [4] heart-based entrepreneur or healer, you aren’t likely to be so openly callous – I hope!  lol! But if you are coming from a place of fear, you may be exhibiting a negative energy that feels contagious to clients or people on your staff.   Following your heart into a completely different life based only on your intuition can feel like stepping out onto ice.  It’s hard to look forward toward your goal on the other side when fish are swimming only an inch or two beneath your toes! It’s important to address your fears by talking to a trusted – and honest – confidant, journaling and meditation.   If you are emitting toxic negative energy, it could come from one of these: Fear of failure.  In my previous blog, I wrote about a fitness center manager who tried to pressure a woman into signing a contract she didn’t want.  Why would she do that?  Because she was rude?  Because she was mean?  Because she got a kick out of pushing people into over-extending their budgets?  No.  She did it because she had allowed her fear to dominate her actions.  She no doubt had a quote of new customers to fill, and no doubt there were negative consequences for failing to fill it.  Her fear of failure made her deaf to the signals the woman was sending. Fear of the unknown.  Following your passion and intuition means, by definition, that your life will be unpredictable and certainly unregimented.  You aren’t in the stifling but secure confines of a 9 to 5 box anymore.  This is liberating.  And it is often terrifying. Fear of emotion.  Your new life as a heart-based entrepreneur, life coach or healer depends on your ability to tap into the intangible – your instincts, your emotion, and promptings from the wide unknown.  This can be overwhelming.  If  you shrink away from that light, your interactions with others will be tainted with the darkness. Half the joy and wonder of success is the surprises.  If you lead from a dark place, others will sense it and refuse to follow.  Let go of your vision of leader as boss or king of the mountain, and replace it with that of a facilitator, influencer, and guide through the surprises that life holds for you. If you’re ready to celebrate your success as a  life coach [5], heart-based entrepreneur, or healer, learn how now in my EnergyRICH® Bootcamp [6]. [7] [1] http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Macchiavelli01.jpg [2] http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Macchiavelli01.jpg [3] http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/200906/how-spot-bad-leader-ii-really-bad-leaders [4] http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/200906/how-spot-bad-leader-ii-really-bad-leaders [5] http://energyrichbusinessblog.com../../../../../www.energyrichbootcamp.com [6] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [7] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/d4724ac1-efc7-4d4e-a551-30bd5785cfa3/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=798 [1] Image via Wikipedia [2] A woman I know decided to get into shape.    She went to the local upscale fitness center, took the tour, then was led to manager’s office to “chat.”   The manager explained the terms of membership – an initial membership fee, followed by a monthly debit from her checking account. “Gee, I don’t know,” the woman said.  “That’s a lot more than I was expecting.  What if I spent the money and then didn’t do it?” “That’s why you spend the money,” the manager said.  “Because that way you know you’ll do it.  You won’t want that money to go to waste.   Anyway, sign now and give me a voided check, and I’ll give you a $50 discount on the initial membership fee.” “It’s still a lot of money.  Anyway, I left my purse in my car.  On purpose, actually, so that I wouldn’t make an impulsive decision.” “I can wait while you go get it,” the manager said, perching in the chair opposite and crossing her legs. “After all, I know you won’t want to lose this deal.  And I’m only able to offer it right after the tour.” “But the point is, I left it out there so I wouldn’t make a decision without thinking about it.” “What’s there to think about?  You said you wanted to get into shape, right?  This is the way to do it.  The only decision you have to make is, pay more later or less now.” “All right,” the woman said.  “I’ll pay more later.  Because I really want to think about it.” “Hold on just a second,” the manager said, popping to her feet.  “I’ll be right back.” She left, and returned a few minutes later with her boss. I’m sorry to say, things deteriorated from there, with the manager and her boss “double-teaming” the woman, badgering her to go to her car and get her purse.  By not signing on right then, they insisted, the woman was choosing to stay out of shape.  Why would anyone choose that?  After all, bikini season was just around the corner! The woman finally left, infuriated at the hard sell and the implied insults.  Later, she signed on to a facility that hadn’t made such a bad impression. Does successful selling leadership qualities? To answer that, you have to first define “leadership.”   If  leadership is the ability to guide, direct or influence people, then selling is certainly leadership.  So is success coaching, parenting, and, yes, even healing.  How useful is it to serve as a life coach [3] if no one will act on your advice? Today we’re beginning a series of blogs on leadership and how effective leadership will lead you toward success in your heart-based business.  To lead effectively, you need to be skilled at: Facilitation Guidance Influence This is where both the manager of the fitness center and her boss failed.  Rather than employing empathy and compassionate guidance to help the woman solve her problem – getting into shape – they powered up to solve their own problem – needing sales.  And they not only failed to get the sale, but no doubt earned themselves some negative word of mouth as well. You, as an intuitive, passionate entrepreneur or life coach [4], need to cultivate the connection between the both the intellectual and spiritual leadership energies and partner them to manifest success for yourself and your client.  Are you coming from a place of fear?  Are you trying so hard to be nice that you’ve watered your effectiveness into nothing? Let’s talk about how you can strengthen your leadership abilities into abundant success and the satisfaction that comes from knowing that you authentically served others. Are you a life coach [5], healer or other heart-based entrepreneur?  Find your way to a joyful, beautiful adventure packed with major success and fun with the EnergyRICH® Bootcamp [6]. [7] [1] http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Mm_whitman_tech_405.jpg [2] http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Mm_whitman_tech_405.jpg [3] http://womensissues.about.com/od/intheworkplace/a/WomenLeaders.htm [4] http://energyrichbusinessblog.com../../../../../?p=337 [5] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [6] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [7] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/1dbddc2e-f0e1-4112-b7a0-8dfba5ac974d/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=783 I knew a woman who didn’t know what she wanted to eat.  Her husband would ask her, “Do you want Chinese or Mexican food for dinner?  Do you want fast food?  Do you feel like cooking?” She would study his face with each word, listen to his inflections, trying to guess what he wanted her to say.  “Do you want Chinese?” she’d ask him.  “Whatever you want is fine with me.” [1] Image via Wikipedia [2] Eventually, her husband stopped making suggestions.  “Just tell me what you’re in the mood for,” he’d say.  “Tonight we’ll have what you want.” If she picked a place, then suspected he wasn’t thrilled with her choice, she would backtrack.  If he insisted, she wasn’t able to enjoy her meal. “Why can’t you tell him what you want?” I asked her. She laughed nervously.  “Because I don’t know!  I honestly don’t.  Sometimes I know what I like when I’m eating it, or at least, I know when I don’t like it.  But it’s like I’m so busy trying to figure out he wants that I can’t get to my own tastes.” Are you chuckling . . . or sympathizing?  As I mentioned in my last blog, too many women were taught as  little girls to please people, to the degree that they lose their own sense of self.   Remember the movie, Runaway Bride with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere?  The whole premise of the movie was that Maggie Carpenter had been so busy being a chameleon – changing constantly with her surroundings – that she had no sense of her own tastes or life purpose [3]. If  this is you, here are some concrete helps: What is important to me?  What would I give up to save?  I know a friend who is born to write.  It had taken her many years to discover that drive, and even more to honor it.  Then, the day her granddaughter got sick, she walked out on a writing deadline to go to her.  After many years of being disconnected, she was in tune with her core self and intentions. What touches you deeply?  When you have emotion, instead of fleeing it, feel it.  Even negative emotions have a positive job – they are a thermostat and a red flag. Pull out your high-level energy toolbox – meditation, affirmations, journaling, and, of course, energy coaching from a certain trusted mentor!  Your life purpose [4] is inside you – just create a safe, meditative environment for yourself and seek it out. As you begin to draw closer to your life purpose, you may want to use bracelets or other jewelry as symbols of your quest for self and your intentions.  Don’t infuse them with power – the power is within you.  They are reminders of that fact. Sift through the “don’t wants.”  If you have years or decades of staying disconnected, you may have a well-engrained habit of believing that you want what others want for you.  Take the time to tune to your feelings and you may be surprised at what you discover.  As I coached the woman above, she was shocked to discover that she didn’t even like Chinese food!  She’d been eating it to accommodate other people for so many years that she literally had no idea. If you’re disconnected from your life purpose, it will take some time to reconnect.  I can help you get through this process, freeing your intentions and helping to reach success beyond what you thought possible. What is your life purpose [5]?  If you’re disconnected, it will take some time to reconnect.  I can help you in the EnergyRICH® Bootcamp [6].   Learn how to free the power of your intentions and savor the kind of success you thought was only for other people. [7] [1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Runaway_Bride.jpg [2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Runaway_Bride.jpg [3] http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi377815321/ [4] http://www.energyrichcoach.com/recommendations_resources.htm [5] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [6] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [7] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/9dd6d43d-e732-4f92-bb2f-e72131bf7a28/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=665 [1] Image via Wikipedia [2] So I have this friend, a lovely woman inside and out, who happens to be a witch.  No, I don’t mean she’s snarky with family members and rude to people in the service industry.  I mean she has magical powers.  All she has to do is wiggle her nose and her house is clean, she’s ready for an impromptu dinner party for twelve, and she has the perfect dress to for the occasion.  Wiggle it again and she has a martini in hand for her husband when he walks in the door. Unfortunately, she’s also under constant pressure from multiple sources to redefine her identity and life purpose [3].  When she and her husband married, he pressed her to promise that she wouldn’t use her magical powers anymore.  I know!  I’m serious! She stands in her kitchen staring at a sink full of dirty breakfast dishes while her neighbor lady pounds on her back door demanding a cup of a sugar and the mailman – recently transformed into a charming cockapoo – trots through the house barking at light fairies.  In thirty seconds, she could use her gifts to solve all of her problems.  Wiggle her nose and the dishes would be clean, her neighbor’s house would be buried under a 200 ton avalanche of refined white sugar, and the cockapoo would be out of her house delivering the mail with his teeth.   Sixty seconds later, she could be lounging in a hot tub in her backyard, enjoying calorie-free chocolate chips cookies served to her by buff android serving men. It’s not like Darren would know – he’s off at the agency chatting up potential advertising clients.  So why doesn’t my friend wiggle her nose?  Because she has allowed her self-knowledge to be pre-empted by her husband’s expectations.  What’s worse is that her mother has the opposite expectations!  Every week or so, her mother sweeps in, insults the husband, and demands that my friend abandon her new life.  The mother handles it badly – I think it was completely wrong to give him donkey ears, and I said so to my friend -- but I have to admit, she has a point. “You’ve got to tune into your intentions,” I told her.  “It’s time to discover who Samantha is, and bring her out into the light where she can really actualize her life purpose [4].” We’re in the middle of a blog series about finding your life purpose by tuning into your intentions.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, I might be exaggerating the tinnnnnniest bit when I describe Samantha Stevens as a friend.  She’s more like an acquaintance.  Or maybe an even more accurate description might be, “fictional character I’ve watched on TV.” But the situation I’m describing isn’t as far out there as you might think.  Sure, maybe your mother hasn’t afflicted your husband with the need to sing everything that he says, but she may be pressuring you to meet her definition of success.  Your husband might have expectations of you that don’t really grow you in the direction you need to go.  Many of your relationships, in fact, might be structured on the unspoken contract that you will act in a role that no longer fits you . . . or that never fit you in the first place. Women, in particular, are often taught from early childhood that their role is to please others.  Many of us lose our very selves in the journey from childhood to adulthood.  And now, now that you’ve embarked on a new life of coaching, healing or other heart-based pursuit, you’re faced with tuning into a part of you that has been silenced for far too long.  Where do you begin? Turn inward.  There is a point in decision-making where seeking the input of others is helpful and productive.  This isn’t one of them.  Through meditation, journaling and soul-searching, you have to begin the discovery of self.  Who are you?  What do you really desire out of life?  What is your life purpose? If the “noise” of others’ spoken or unspoken expectations begins to intrude on your progress, address the messages you’re getting – in privacy at first.  If you got a message from your sister, for example, that you were irresponsible to walk away from your corporate life to start a business, journal about it.  If it’s bothering you, she must have hit on an insecurity.  Consider that a gift from her – she’s just pinpointed an area of fear that you need to pull out and address.  She never needs to know about any of this – once you “defuse” the fearful spot, her comments won’t affect you the same way. Be prepared for a lifetime journey of self-discovery, not only because you’re a complex creation, but also because you are ever changing. If I were to give advice to my “friend” Samantha, I’d tell her that the more work she does to discover and grow her own gifts, talents and personality, the more joyful authenticity she has to bring into any relationship.  Yes, our loved ones may initially resist when we step out of the box of their expectations, but in the long run, everyone is the richer for it. And, besides, I’m sure Samantha will be happy to invite Darren to hang out in the backyard hot tub with her . . . as long as he isn’t currently sporting hooves. Do you know who you are and what you were born to do?  Do you have the courage to bring your life purpose [5] out into the light and let it grow and flourish?  It’s time to join the adventure.  Sign on for one of the remaining slots in the EnergyRICH® Bootcamp [6]. [7] [1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Bewitched_intro.png [2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Bewitched_intro.png [3] http://www.energyrichcoach.com/ezine_energyrich_success_system.htm [4] http://crackle.com/c/Bewitched/null/2478964 [5] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [6] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [7] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/f0799a50-830d-4214-8aa5-bc0b072417ce/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=639 “So,” Phyllis told me.  “I’ve been hearing about this whole Law of Attraction thing.  And, you know, I’m not the type that just buys into something without checking it out.  I decided to test it.” “Okay,” I said.  “So what did you do?” “I decided to marry Pierce Brosnan.” “Pierce . . . Pierce Brosnan?  Y-you mean, James Bond?  The guy from Mamma Mia?” Phyllis eyed me sternly.  “We don’t talk about Mamma Mia.” “Right.  Okay, but I think Pierce Brosnan is married.” She shrugged.  “If the Law of Attraction is really all that, it shouldn’t be an issue.  I’ve started a regimen of meditation, journaling and affirmations.  I’m giving it six months.” I had a bad moment then, imagining Phyllis triggering some freak clause in the Law of Attraction and causing the sudden demise of Brosnan’s wife, Keely Shaye Smith, or, at the very least, the demise of their marriage.  I shook it off. “I’m not sure you’re really understanding how life purpose [1] works,” I said.  “I think you’re confusing the Law of Attraction with Santa Claus.  Or, you know  . . . worse.” Phyllis would be considered – by any definition – an extreme example, but she’s sure not the only one who is unclear on how intentions lead to tangible results.  Steve Pavlina (www.stevepavlina.com [2])  wrote a terrific explanation of how the Law of Attraction works.  He describes it as a pattern: Create the intention.  This is what we’ve been talking about in this series of blogs. Then you experience what Pavlina calls an alpha reflection, or a synchronicity.  You create the intention to double your nutritional coaching business, and suddenly you get three referrals.  You create the intention to introduce your business on a larger scale, and suddenly you get a call from a TV network asking you to appear as an expert on a talk show. This is followed by the calm before the storm.  While you’re still focused on activating your intentions, you don’t see any more results for a week or longer. Then comes the beta reflection.  This is where the real results begin to come in – longer, slower, and, most importantly, stronger than the alpha reflection. This is followed by – and this is what you’ve been waiting for -- the manifestation.  Your intentions have activated the universe, like flipping the switch on a powerful success machine.  Now the universe does 80-90% of the work, and you get to reap the benefits. Stage three – the calm before the storm – is the sticking point for a lot of people.  “I thought it was working,” they say.  “When I got that phone call.  But then, nothing!”    They give up and let go of their dreams just before they get to enjoy the results that will transform their lives. In Phyllis’s case, I referred her back to my earlier blogs about using intentions to find a life purpose [3] and advised her to look inward to determine what she wanted and create intentions to send her in that direction.  While she was understandably reluctant to abandon her dream of becoming Mrs. Brosnan, she agreed that she’d do better to align her intentions with her gifts and talents, and allow poor Keely to remain in her home. If you,  like Phyllis, would like to embark on a journey to attain your life purpose [4], learn how in my EnergyRICH® Bootcamp [5]. [6] [1] http://www.energyrichcoach.com/testimonials.htm [2] http://www.stevepavlina.com/ [3] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OLFu2korAc [4] http://energyrichbusinessblog.comwww.energyrichbootcamp.com [5] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [6] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/40b5ef05-5d14-4726-be67-06640cbba015/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=637 Gotta love the energy of young people, don’t you?  Their whole future is spread before them like a buffet.  Sample a profession here, an adventure there, a taste of love there.  “It’s my life!”  Listen to the power and confidence behind that statement. Well, guess what?  You’re probably older than the high school kids in Glee, and you’ve probably taken a few hard knocks.  Maybe you don’t have that endless buoyancy born of inexperience, but you’ve got something better:  the authentic wisdom and confidence that comes from walking through the fire and coming out stronger.  More importantly, if you tap into your intentions, your energy will spark with the same electric vibrancy, without the adolescent emotional roller coaster. Today we’re continuing the blog series on actualizing your life purpose [1] through finding and activating your intentions.  Yesterday I told you how to unearth your inner intentions – the feeling associated with what you want.  So, today’s topic . . . you guessed it!  Outer intentions. During your life purpose [2] meditation, I told you to focus on the feeling associated with what you want.  Now, to discover your outer intention, focus your meditation toward the actions that will bring about the desired outcome.  See how we did this?  We tapped into your power – your core of emotion – and now we’re putting that power to work.  This is so much more powerful than goal setting or making lists! Once your outer intentions are clarified, keep your focus there.  Don’t cling to what you don’t have; don’t put all your power into fretting about the fact that you only have three clients.  Put your power on the fact that you want – will – soon have the ten clients you want. Stay aware of the danger of getting bogged down by worry or focusing on your lack of success so far.  Remember the Law of Attraction!  Also, when you focus on the lack, it’s too easy to use your current circumstances to “prove” that success is permanently out of reach.  Why would you try to convince yourself that you’re doomed to fail?  Because change is frightening, and many people harbor the illusion that failure is someone less painful if you never really tried to succeed in the first place.  Go back to your intentions. Let me say that again. Go back to your intentions.  Go back to your intentions.  Go back to your intentions. Got that? One more time:  Go back to your intentions!  Tuning into your intentions isn’t an event; it’s a lifetime process of refining, seeking, and resting in the knowledge. If you’ve ever set a New Year’s Resolution, you know how useless it can be to just “decide” to make a change in yourself or your life.  You have to know what drives you, and you have to stop fighting it and make it work for you. [3] [1] http://www.energyrichbootcamp.com/ [2] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJhLCj1f4fE [3] http://reblog.zemanta.com/zemified/d49c2ca1-7265-4d3b-9565-caed2d4d0a4c/ http://energyrichbusinessblog.com/?p=631