Life Coach as Leader: How Can You Lead If Others Won’t Follow?

I knew a woman – we’ll call her Debbie – who believed she was nothing special.  “I’m normal,” she said.  “Just normal.  I guess that’s okay, but it’s hard to get excited about it.”

“What do you mean by normal?” I asked her.

“You know.  I was a B and C student in school.  Married an average guy.  Make an average income.  Two point five kids.  My dog is a Lab.  I’m just . . . normal.  I just always wished I was a brilliant musician, or had a high IQ, or was a raving beauty.  You know.  Just something.”

I had to laugh as I glanced around her office, packed to capacity with files, memo notes, and record books.

Three years ago, Debbie had run into Julie, one of her dearest friends from high school.  The friend had been a beacon of fashionable popularity in school, but now she – only in her mid-thirties – looked exhausted and beaten down by life.  Debbie was shocked.

“I knew a lot of people in this region were having problems,” she told me.  “When the plant closed, it put a lot of people out of work.  I know so many people who lost their houses, or who are about to lose their houses.  A lot of times their marriages don’t survive the stress.”  Julie was one of these – she and her husband had both lost their jobs, and their marriage had cracked under the pressure.  Now Julie was working part time in a family restaurant, trying to keep a roof over the heads of her three kids while fielding collection calls.

Debbie remembered that in school, Julie had been passionate about yoga, and had even given many of her friends charm bracelets “to remind them of their intentions on and off the mat.”

“Why don’t you make some extra money selling your bracelets?” she suggested.  “You could sell them on the internet.”

Julie was dubious.  She didn’t have any money to start a small business, and was too discouraged to try something new.  But Debbie wouldn’t give up.  Julie was too gifted to just fade into hopelessness.  Soon, Julie agreed to give it a try.

And a new business was born.

Actually, two new businesses were born.  Julie told a few friends about Debbie’s combination of ideas and cheerleading, and Debbie – almost accidentally – became a life coach!

“But you’re just normal,” I said, picking up a charm bracelet from her desk and dangling it in front of her.  The pewter charm said, “Believe!”

“What do you mean?”

“Girl, I think you’re overlooking your major talent.  You are an incredible leader.”

Debbie instinctively knows the keys to success when it comes to leading as a life coach.  But if you’re struggling with your own ability to lead, don’t give up!   These are definitely skills that you can learn.  When you’re trying to move a client to follow your lead, keep these things in mind:

• Rather than try to coerce your client, engage her emotions.  Help her see the big picture – the truth about what you’re all about.  Let her feel your excitement!
• When you have a choice, always choose face to face contacts rather than email or telephone.  The more uncertain the outcome is, the more your client needs to see your face and feel your energy.
• Take a personal interested.  We talked about this in a previous blog.  Release your investment in the outcome – in what you have to lose – and look at the situation through your client’s filters.
• Be worthy of the trust that you’d have others place in you.  If you break promises, fail to follow through, are disrespectful or biased, people will see through you in a heartbeat and go their own way.

Are you a leader?   I don’t like that question, so don’t answer it!  When you put it like that, it sounds like a leader is a distinct type of person, like a lawyer, or a tall person, or a blonde (well, that last one is actually subject to change, isn’t it?)   Let go of the idea that you either are or aren’t a leader, because learning to lead is a lifetime process.  And whether you’re just starting on the path to mastering the skills of leadership or much farther down the line, there’s always more to learn.

Are you ready it hit your stride and move into 6-figure (and more) income levels?  It’s time to move your career as a life coach, healer or heart-based entrepreneur into high gear.  Sign on for one of the remaining slots in the EnergyRICH® Bootcamp.